WALKING IN THE WILDERNESS

For those of you that go to church with me you will probably see a connection to what we are talking about in church, to what I write on here. I take notes during sermons at church and when something hits me that I want to share with you I write it down in my book, so it seems to go along with what our preacher is talking about. We have been talking about the Israelites taking their journey to the Promise Land through the wilderness instead of the straight shot that would have taken less time. The Bible talks about how God took them a longer (40 years) way to the Promise Land because if he took them the most direct route they would face war and He was afraid they would change their minds. If you read in Exodus it goes into much more depth about the wilderness the Israelites had to go through to get to the Promise Land.

We all have wilderness that we must walk through, but God doesn’t lead us to those wilderness for no reason. He has a purpose for you. A plan for you. You may not hear it or see it right away, but that is where our trust and faith must come into play. God will not leave you alone in your wilderness either. He is there for you.

When I talk about your wilderness there are so many things that it could be. For some it is an addiction of any king. For others it could be a loss of a loved one. Other examples are loss of a job, break up of a marriage, family drama. a deployed husband, depression. There are so many different wildernesses out there. I would like to share with you one of my wildernesses that I went through.

When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter I knew there were certain factors that could lead me to having postpartum depression (PPD). I even talked to my doctor about it. I was prepared with what signs to look for and I was really trying to be very aware of this issue that wasn’t an issue yet. My husband was deployed when my daughter was born and that was one of the factors that I thought could play into me having PPD. At my 6 week postpartum check up I felt great. I was happy, my hubby was home, I had a beautiful baby girl. Life was good. Between 12-16 weeks, things got ugly. PPD hit me and it hit me hard. I thought I had beaten it. I was so scared. I was so sad. I was mad too. I was so mad at myself because I had this absolutely wonderful life. A perfect daughter. A husband home from deployment. Why was I SO SAD? Why did I cry so much? Why did I think that my husband and daughter were better off without me and my craziness? I got with my doctor and got on some medication that helped me with my PPD. I struggled with this for a very long time. I don't want to ever go back to that wilderness. I want to enjoy my beautiful family, not wish I wasn’t apart of it.

For a very long time I questioned why I had to go through PPD? I didn’t understand. I thought I did everything “right.” But GOD had a PURPOSE for me. I can’t tell you how many people I have met that too have suffered from PPD. We have talked, shared, become fantastic friends and even helped each other through some hard times of our depression. I now see why I had to walk through that wilderness. I am glad that I did. I don't think that I would have made the friends that I did if I wasn't experiencing PPD when I was.

If you are walking through a wilderness right now, know that God is with you. Know that God has a purpose for you and for your life. And even if you can’t see it right now know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Ever wonder what you will be doing 5, 10 or 15 years from now? I do. Not the intimate details, but the over all picture. I am mostly talking about with your kids. I was watching the kids play the other day and I couldn't help but wonder what they will become. In 5 years (shoot, less than that) will we be at soccer practice or dance lessons? Will we be at swim practice or cheerleading practice? Will we be at piano lessons or softball practice? So many unknowns.

The parent side of me it is very exciting to see what my kids will grow up to be. What their passions will be. The OCD side of me wants to know because (like any parent) I want my kids to be the best they can be. Not necessarily the BEST, but the best THEY can be. So I want to start practicing with them now. But what fun would that be?

The one thing that I do know for sure is that God knows our future. He knows what the kids will become, what they will want to do and well, everything. I believe that as long as we turn to Him for guidance and instruction that He will prepare us the best He can to handle whatever comes out way! How encouraging!

I hope they still like each other....they are sisters for goodness sakes :) HAHA!

ABUNDANTLY BLESSED

In church and in the women’s Bible study I am doing there has been a lot of talk about living in abundance. I don’t think of abundance as a bad thing. I think of it as being overly blessed. Having more than we need, but being blessed that we have more than we need. It got me to thinking about the girls and how I am abundantly blessed by them.

I know this has been said before, but it comes up in my mind so often, that I’ll probably say it over and over and over again. But how amazing is that that God trust ME with 2 of His children? I mean me....crazy me, gets to be abundantly blessed by 2 of God’s children. Some days I don’t understand why He chose me. There are plenty of other people that could probably do a better job than I do, but I am the lucky one! Same thing with my hubby. He is so patient with me, puts up with my nagging and faults. But I was blessed to be the one that got him!!!

Now,don’t get me wrong. My life/household isn’t just this happy go lucky place (as you can tell from reading this blog!). Yes, we have fun, giggle, have dance parties, play dress up, hug and kiss, BUT we also, have time outs, spankings, fights, disagreement, tantrums (by kids and adults) and bad attitudes. But at the end of the day when I am laying in bed the last thing I try to think about (especially on a ‘bad’ day) is “WOW I am abundantly blessed. I have a huge roof over my head, 2 beautiful, sweet, loving, WONDERFUL daughters, a husband that loves me unconditionally, food to eat, water to drink and so much more than I need. And I have a God that sent His Son as a sacrifice, so that I can be abundantly blessed.”

In the “heat of the battle” it is hard to remember those things, but when I do it is easy for me to take a step back and look at the situation at hand a little bit differently.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” Ephesians 1:3

SOMETHING I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND

“She speaks with wisdom, and FAITHFUL instruction is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26

This is something that I believe only a mother understands, so if you are reading this and are not a mother and you do understand, then maybe I am wrong. I didn’t understand it or even “see” it until I was pregnant with my first and then even more so once I had her.

Parenting is a very tough thing. So many people have their different ways of doing it, so many experts will tell you what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’, so many other parents will tell you what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong.’ I know that I always feel pressure to make sure and do the ‘right’ thing with my kids. BUT WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING?

Here is a very easy example of people to understand what I am talking about. Sleep training. Cry it out (CIO) vs non cry it out (NCIO). I am not going to tell you what is right and what is wrong. That isn’t the point of this. I am going to tell you my experience I had going through it. I was/am a CIO mom. Is it the right or wrong way? I don’t know, I don’t care. It is what worked for us, so that is what we did.

I say all that to get to this. I had the support of some mothers when I was going through sleep training and letting the girls CIO. HOWEVER, I had much criticism from other (NCIO) mothers. From mothers that I thought were my friends. I heard things like “how could she love her kids but let them cry.” Mean, hurtful things were said about my parenting style. I couldn’t believe it. It made/makes me take a step back and make sure that I am not being that critical and harsh of other people’s parenting style.

Mothering & parenting is probably the hardest job there is and I think that in general mothers are much harder on themselves than they should be. I know I want to make sure and do everything right for my kids, because I want what is best for them. And then once you think you have picked the right way to go about something you get slammed by another mother because they think you are the worst mother for choosing that way. It doesn’t make sense to me.

My challenge for myself and also for you is to encourage all your mommy friends. Don’t judge or criticize what they do, instead let them know what a wonderful job they are doing raising their child/children. Right now, call or send an email to one of your friends and tell them that you think they are a fantastic mother and that you think they are doing the best job they can do! I promise you it will make her day!!!

PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE

Every single one of you reading this right now know EXACTLY what I am talking about. That thing that we don’t seem to have enough of. Today, I had about 2 hours less than what I needed.

For me, it is crazy how FAST my patience dwindles down to nothing. One minute I feel like I am good, the kids are good, yet getting into everything, and I am being consistently nice in telling them no or redirecting their attention. However, there is a moment somewhere in there when I can’t take it any more. I have told them to stay out of something for the last time. From that point until bedtime each whiny word coming out of their mouth is like nails on a chalkboard. What is usually comes down to is one last fit that puts me and them over the edge and we drop everything, go up stairs and get in bed.

How do you keep a grip on not losing your patience?

There are a few scriptures that I want to share with you that help me when I lose my patience!!!

“The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:8-9

That part about anger resides in the lap of fools gets me every time. I find that when I look back at the frustration I had with the kids I am a little embarrassed of the way I acted and the little tantrum I threw.

“Not only so, but let us also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not pt us to shame, because God’ love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5

This verse keeps me going when I am trying to teach the kids manners and things such as that. It is exhausting to correct them every time, but SO REWARDING when we can go out in public and they can behave so well!

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

I like to think that when I am my parents age and my kids are my age I will enjoy all of my efforts.

Have a great day!