Monday, February 28, 2011


For those of you that go to church with me you will probably see a connection to what we are talking about in church, to what I write on here. I take notes during sermons at church and when something hits me that I want to share with you I write it down in my book, so it seems to go along with what our preacher is talking about. We have been talking about the Israelites taking their journey to the Promise Land through the wilderness instead of the straight shot that would have taken less time. The Bible talks about how God took them a longer (40 years) way to the Promise Land because if he took them the most direct route they would face war and He was afraid they would change their minds. If you read in Exodus it goes into much more depth about the wilderness the Israelites had to go through to get to the Promise Land.

We all have wilderness that we must walk through, but God doesn’t lead us to those wilderness for no reason. He has a purpose for you. A plan for you. You may not hear it or see it right away, but that is where our trust and faith must come into play. God will not leave you alone in your wilderness either. He is there for you.

When I talk about your wilderness there are so many things that it could be. For some it is an addiction of any king. For others it could be a loss of a loved one. Other examples are loss of a job, break up of a marriage, family drama. a deployed husband, depression. There are so many different wildernesses out there. I would like to share with you one of my wildernesses that I went through.

When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter I knew there were certain factors that could lead me to having postpartum depression (PPD). I even talked to my doctor about it. I was prepared with what signs to look for and I was really trying to be very aware of this issue that wasn’t an issue yet. My husband was deployed when my daughter was born and that was one of the factors that I thought could play into me having PPD. At my 6 week postpartum check up I felt great. I was happy, my hubby was home, I had a beautiful baby girl. Life was good. Between 12-16 weeks, things got ugly. PPD hit me and it hit me hard. I thought I had beaten it. I was so scared. I was so sad. I was mad too. I was so mad at myself because I had this absolutely wonderful life. A perfect daughter. A husband home from deployment. Why was I SO SAD? Why did I cry so much? Why did I think that my husband and daughter were better off without me and my craziness? I got with my doctor and got on some medication that helped me with my PPD. I struggled with this for a very long time. I don't want to ever go back to that wilderness. I want to enjoy my beautiful family, not wish I wasn’t apart of it.

For a very long time I questioned why I had to go through PPD? I didn’t understand. I thought I did everything “right.” But GOD had a PURPOSE for me. I can’t tell you how many people I have met that too have suffered from PPD. We have talked, shared, become fantastic friends and even helped each other through some hard times of our depression. I now see why I had to walk through that wilderness. I am glad that I did. I don't think that I would have made the friends that I did if I wasn't experiencing PPD when I was.

If you are walking through a wilderness right now, know that God is with you. Know that God has a purpose for you and for your life. And even if you can’t see it right now know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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