Wow God Wednesday

I think I see a trend going on here. Or I am having deja vu! But yet again I am wowed by God's perfect timing.

So you know on Monday how I shared my struggles with not having much freedom. Well Tuesday when I was reading my Bible study it talked about changing your attitude from "I have to..." to "I get to..." So instead of me saying "I have to stop what I am doing and do so and so with the kids.", I need to say "I get to do so and so with my kids." Truthfully that chapter in the book was a bit of a slap in the face. Kind of God saying "Bobbi, get over yourself."

Then last night at our church we had a "Girls Night Out." Our pastors wife talked about where our dead places are. And once again, God slapped me across the face with the message. My kids and my family and the joys I get from them should not be a dead place in my life, but a "life" place in my life!

It is incredible how well God knows your heart and knows what you need to hear!

How has God wowed you this past week?

Guilt

Chapter 2 in Plan A Mom in a Plan B World is calling "Languishing in Guilt or Rejoicing in Grace." My favorite part of this chapter was where it talked about false guilt. False guilt is basically talking about guilt that you should not own. This book says it is guilt about not living up to our own or someone else expectations.

It is kind of like this: I had a friend send me a text message when she was really struggling with all that life was throwing at her. And I mean life was throwing a LOT of things at her. Her 3 yer old daughter had just had surgery, her almost 2 year old daughter got a stomach bug, her husband deployed, her 3 year old daughter got the stomach bug from sister (while trying to recover from surgery), and to top that off the 3 year old got the rota virus and was hospitalized again. Oh yeah, and she works full time for the Navy. How about all that in a 2 week time frame. Anyways, the text message said that her parents were coming to get the kids from her so she could rest and concentrate on work. I told her I thought that was a great idea. Her next sentence made me so sad. It said, "Why do I feel so guilty?"

My reply back to my friend was this: You feel so guilty because people in today's society have mad it seem that if you can do it ALL and do it happily then you are a failure. But the truth is, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. I told her that she has done more in the last few weeks by herself than I could do with the help of my husband and my mom.

What she had was false guilt. I have some false guilt that I am working through right now. And can I just tell you that satan LOVES false guilt. I hear him working in me, stirring that guilt, trying to make me believe it. It is hard thing to get rid of.

1John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Let go of your false guilt, give your real guilt to God through confession and live life the way God wants you to live.

Struggles

Sorry for the lapse in post last week. Life got super busy and I got super tired which meant I "slept in" and if I do that then there is no time for blog writing!

Today I don't have a scripture for you. I hope you have one fore me. I don't have a lesson learned story. Maybe you have one for me. All I have is what I am struggling with as a mom.

Between Alan's work, my "work", my dad having surgery and just life, I have wanted to step away from being a mom and just be Bobbi. Go sit with my mom at the hospital as her daughter, not as Jayme and Ashlee's mommy. I have wanted to get my pile of sewing done to get caught up on orders. I have wanted to have photo shoots any time of the week not just on weekends. I have wanted to just get up and go to an event at church without having to worry about a babysitter.

All these instances have been struggles for me lately because I feel trapped. Completely trapped. There is not much that I can do without checking with someone. Check with Alan to see if he will be home to watch the kids. "Check" with the kids to see if it is a good time to leave them. Check with the babysitter. Find a babysitter. Pay a babysitter.

I am not sure why it took me 3 years to realize that my complete freedom is gone. Maybe I have just been okay with it up until this point because I haven't had much else going on, but now that I am trying to do stuff outside of being mommy and wife that the "trapped" feeling is coming to the surface. I admit that I get jealous when my husband says he is going to go run all these errands before coming home from work. It isn't an issue for him to just go run a few errands. He doesn't have to ask me if I can watch the kids so he can go do that, but if I want to run errands alone I have to make sure he is home from work, etc. I don't hold that against him. He doesn't get to play around all day with the kids. He works hard for us, but he isn't trapped in the building he works in 24/7.

I wish I could get over it. I wish I knew how. If you have had these feelings I would love for you to share with me how you got over it. One step I have made is just sucking it up and paying for babysitters. I know that is silly, call me cheap, I just hate paying for sitters.

If you have read this far, thank you for sticking with my "whining." Tomorrow I'll be back to encouraging you!

Wow God Wednesday

God, you have been doing some pretty rockin' things lately. Thank you!

I am still so amazed at how God has changed my heart. Sometimes I see the old me come out and I realize that was a very unhappy me. I am wowed by what He has done in me and what He can do in me if I just let Him.

There have been a bunch of babies born lately and it has reminded me what a blessing my kids are. I have the privilege of photographing newborns and I just love the peacefulness that is with them when they sleep. And the comfort they have when they are being held by momma. Each time I come home from a newborn photoshoot I try to cuddle with my kids a little more than they want me to...haha!

Has God wowed you in the last week? Please share!

Thought Bubbles

This post might get a little random, but just a few thoughts that I want to share with you!

I think wilderness is coming upon me. I am trying to be aware of it. Trying to pray that I handle it the correct way and also thanking God for things that He has already provided me to walk this (hopefully short) wilderness. I hope from what I have learned and the changes that I have made in my heart that I can handle this wilderness completely different than others.

I read the first chapter of Plan A Mom in a Plan B World. God's timing is impeccable. I am still in awe of that. I have known this book has been out there for a while and have wanted to buy it and read it, but God knew when it needed to be in my life! I can't wait to share some of it with you.

Okay, how about I share a little bit of it with you right now? I think I'll explain the Plan A, Plan B thing and then tell you a story about how that fits right into my life. The author describes a Plan A mom as a mom who wants to please God. A mom who wants to raise her children to know Christ as our Savior. A mom who prays. A mom who wants their kids to be healthy, kind to others and socially and spiritually well adjusted and raise her children to make good choices. A Plan B world contradicts that. When sin entered the human equations, things kind of went bad. She describes a Plan B world as a world that is filled with sickness, physical disabilities and threats to our children.

Sounds pretty accurate huh? So, here is my story.

When I was pregnant with Jayme I read Babywise. I had that book essentially memorized. I thought I was set on that aspect of being a mom because I knew what the book said to do and in my VERY naive mind I thought that if I did exactly as the book said, then Jayme would follow and do exactly has the book said (yes, I really thought this...stop laughing!). I also thought that my 1 week old child could hold a toy. Yes, I was a bit of a 'green' mom at first. Anyways, as I am sure you have figured out Jayme did NOT do what the book said she would do if I did what the book said to do. She actually did the opposite. I was devastated. I thought I was the worse mother. I had no idea where I went wrong. Today I laugh at this story because when I was in the moment I was really distraught.

Things come into our lives that mess our plans up. Every day that probably happens. The way we adapt and how we handle the changes can be a shining example to our kids!