WALKING IN THE WILDERNESS

For those of you that go to church with me you will probably see a connection to what we are talking about in church, to what I write on here. I take notes during sermons at church and when something hits me that I want to share with you I write it down in my book, so it seems to go along with what our preacher is talking about. We have been talking about the Israelites taking their journey to the Promise Land through the wilderness instead of the straight shot that would have taken less time. The Bible talks about how God took them a longer (40 years) way to the Promise Land because if he took them the most direct route they would face war and He was afraid they would change their minds. If you read in Exodus it goes into much more depth about the wilderness the Israelites had to go through to get to the Promise Land.

We all have wilderness that we must walk through, but God doesn’t lead us to those wilderness for no reason. He has a purpose for you. A plan for you. You may not hear it or see it right away, but that is where our trust and faith must come into play. God will not leave you alone in your wilderness either. He is there for you.

When I talk about your wilderness there are so many things that it could be. For some it is an addiction of any king. For others it could be a loss of a loved one. Other examples are loss of a job, break up of a marriage, family drama. a deployed husband, depression. There are so many different wildernesses out there. I would like to share with you one of my wildernesses that I went through.

When I was pregnant with my oldest daughter I knew there were certain factors that could lead me to having postpartum depression (PPD). I even talked to my doctor about it. I was prepared with what signs to look for and I was really trying to be very aware of this issue that wasn’t an issue yet. My husband was deployed when my daughter was born and that was one of the factors that I thought could play into me having PPD. At my 6 week postpartum check up I felt great. I was happy, my hubby was home, I had a beautiful baby girl. Life was good. Between 12-16 weeks, things got ugly. PPD hit me and it hit me hard. I thought I had beaten it. I was so scared. I was so sad. I was mad too. I was so mad at myself because I had this absolutely wonderful life. A perfect daughter. A husband home from deployment. Why was I SO SAD? Why did I cry so much? Why did I think that my husband and daughter were better off without me and my craziness? I got with my doctor and got on some medication that helped me with my PPD. I struggled with this for a very long time. I don't want to ever go back to that wilderness. I want to enjoy my beautiful family, not wish I wasn’t apart of it.

For a very long time I questioned why I had to go through PPD? I didn’t understand. I thought I did everything “right.” But GOD had a PURPOSE for me. I can’t tell you how many people I have met that too have suffered from PPD. We have talked, shared, become fantastic friends and even helped each other through some hard times of our depression. I now see why I had to walk through that wilderness. I am glad that I did. I don't think that I would have made the friends that I did if I wasn't experiencing PPD when I was.

If you are walking through a wilderness right now, know that God is with you. Know that God has a purpose for you and for your life. And even if you can’t see it right now know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Ever wonder what you will be doing 5, 10 or 15 years from now? I do. Not the intimate details, but the over all picture. I am mostly talking about with your kids. I was watching the kids play the other day and I couldn't help but wonder what they will become. In 5 years (shoot, less than that) will we be at soccer practice or dance lessons? Will we be at swim practice or cheerleading practice? Will we be at piano lessons or softball practice? So many unknowns.

The parent side of me it is very exciting to see what my kids will grow up to be. What their passions will be. The OCD side of me wants to know because (like any parent) I want my kids to be the best they can be. Not necessarily the BEST, but the best THEY can be. So I want to start practicing with them now. But what fun would that be?

The one thing that I do know for sure is that God knows our future. He knows what the kids will become, what they will want to do and well, everything. I believe that as long as we turn to Him for guidance and instruction that He will prepare us the best He can to handle whatever comes out way! How encouraging!

I hope they still like each other....they are sisters for goodness sakes :) HAHA!

ABUNDANTLY BLESSED

In church and in the women’s Bible study I am doing there has been a lot of talk about living in abundance. I don’t think of abundance as a bad thing. I think of it as being overly blessed. Having more than we need, but being blessed that we have more than we need. It got me to thinking about the girls and how I am abundantly blessed by them.

I know this has been said before, but it comes up in my mind so often, that I’ll probably say it over and over and over again. But how amazing is that that God trust ME with 2 of His children? I mean me....crazy me, gets to be abundantly blessed by 2 of God’s children. Some days I don’t understand why He chose me. There are plenty of other people that could probably do a better job than I do, but I am the lucky one! Same thing with my hubby. He is so patient with me, puts up with my nagging and faults. But I was blessed to be the one that got him!!!

Now,don’t get me wrong. My life/household isn’t just this happy go lucky place (as you can tell from reading this blog!). Yes, we have fun, giggle, have dance parties, play dress up, hug and kiss, BUT we also, have time outs, spankings, fights, disagreement, tantrums (by kids and adults) and bad attitudes. But at the end of the day when I am laying in bed the last thing I try to think about (especially on a ‘bad’ day) is “WOW I am abundantly blessed. I have a huge roof over my head, 2 beautiful, sweet, loving, WONDERFUL daughters, a husband that loves me unconditionally, food to eat, water to drink and so much more than I need. And I have a God that sent His Son as a sacrifice, so that I can be abundantly blessed.”

In the “heat of the battle” it is hard to remember those things, but when I do it is easy for me to take a step back and look at the situation at hand a little bit differently.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” Ephesians 1:3

SOMETHING I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND

“She speaks with wisdom, and FAITHFUL instruction is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26

This is something that I believe only a mother understands, so if you are reading this and are not a mother and you do understand, then maybe I am wrong. I didn’t understand it or even “see” it until I was pregnant with my first and then even more so once I had her.

Parenting is a very tough thing. So many people have their different ways of doing it, so many experts will tell you what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’, so many other parents will tell you what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong.’ I know that I always feel pressure to make sure and do the ‘right’ thing with my kids. BUT WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING?

Here is a very easy example of people to understand what I am talking about. Sleep training. Cry it out (CIO) vs non cry it out (NCIO). I am not going to tell you what is right and what is wrong. That isn’t the point of this. I am going to tell you my experience I had going through it. I was/am a CIO mom. Is it the right or wrong way? I don’t know, I don’t care. It is what worked for us, so that is what we did.

I say all that to get to this. I had the support of some mothers when I was going through sleep training and letting the girls CIO. HOWEVER, I had much criticism from other (NCIO) mothers. From mothers that I thought were my friends. I heard things like “how could she love her kids but let them cry.” Mean, hurtful things were said about my parenting style. I couldn’t believe it. It made/makes me take a step back and make sure that I am not being that critical and harsh of other people’s parenting style.

Mothering & parenting is probably the hardest job there is and I think that in general mothers are much harder on themselves than they should be. I know I want to make sure and do everything right for my kids, because I want what is best for them. And then once you think you have picked the right way to go about something you get slammed by another mother because they think you are the worst mother for choosing that way. It doesn’t make sense to me.

My challenge for myself and also for you is to encourage all your mommy friends. Don’t judge or criticize what they do, instead let them know what a wonderful job they are doing raising their child/children. Right now, call or send an email to one of your friends and tell them that you think they are a fantastic mother and that you think they are doing the best job they can do! I promise you it will make her day!!!

PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE

Every single one of you reading this right now know EXACTLY what I am talking about. That thing that we don’t seem to have enough of. Today, I had about 2 hours less than what I needed.

For me, it is crazy how FAST my patience dwindles down to nothing. One minute I feel like I am good, the kids are good, yet getting into everything, and I am being consistently nice in telling them no or redirecting their attention. However, there is a moment somewhere in there when I can’t take it any more. I have told them to stay out of something for the last time. From that point until bedtime each whiny word coming out of their mouth is like nails on a chalkboard. What is usually comes down to is one last fit that puts me and them over the edge and we drop everything, go up stairs and get in bed.

How do you keep a grip on not losing your patience?

There are a few scriptures that I want to share with you that help me when I lose my patience!!!

“The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:8-9

That part about anger resides in the lap of fools gets me every time. I find that when I look back at the frustration I had with the kids I am a little embarrassed of the way I acted and the little tantrum I threw.

“Not only so, but let us also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not pt us to shame, because God’ love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5

This verse keeps me going when I am trying to teach the kids manners and things such as that. It is exhausting to correct them every time, but SO REWARDING when we can go out in public and they can behave so well!

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

I like to think that when I am my parents age and my kids are my age I will enjoy all of my efforts.

Have a great day!

LOVE, HUGS & KISSES

"Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. LIke arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in on's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court." Psalms 127:3-5

My 2 year old has learned that if she is being a little toot and not doing what mommy said that she can (for the most part) get away with it by coming up to me and saying “Mommy, I want to give you a hug.” Who can resist that sweet little voice saying she wants to give you a hug. I know I can’t.

I think it is incredible that our kids can not only drive us to insanity and in an instant keep us from going insane. Who knew that a simple crying screaming baby, whining toddler, needy infant or needy toddler could drive us to a point where we can’t take it any more? Before kids I would have never thought that. I bet you did too. Hollywood portrays parenthood as all hugs, love and kisses. While all of those are still part of being a parent, and the best part I might add, there are still so many times that I need to have a mommy time-out!

A sweet story to leave you with. My youngest daughter was/is not the easiest baby. She cried and fussed a bunch, especially when she was in the car and couldn’t see or be held by momma. During one of the screaming fits she was having, big sister reached over, grabbed little sisters hand and said, “Don’t cry sissy, I’ll hold your hand.” Just melted my heart.

Thank you Lord, for blessing me with these wonderful children. In the good and bad times I am the luckiest mommy on earth. I have 2 kids that love and adore me, that give me love, hugs and kisses whenever I need them. I pray that I fulfill the job you have given me being their mommy.

WOW GOD!

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16:34

This really has nothing to do with kids or being a mommy or a wife or anything like that. It is more about being a child of God. I’ll have to give you a bit of history before I get to my point, so bear with me.

My husband and I came from very different “religious” backgrounds. He was raised Catholic. I was raised Church of Christ. So, when we got married we knew that we could have to find a church that suited both of our needs. We knew that would be a task and to make matters even worse, we were moving every year thanks to being in the military. To be completely honest with you, a lot of time the motivation was not there to get up on Sunday morning, drive to a random church, try to praise and worship God at the same time “evaluate” the church to see if that is where we could possibly fit in. For those of you who have had to “church shop” knows what I am talking about.

So, fast forward about 6 years from the beginnings of church shopping. We are now out of the military and settled down. We are beyond ready to find a church home, get involved and really just be surrounded by people who love the Lord. As we begin our church shopping we have a neighbor who invites us to their church. So, we go. And we go back again, and again and again. I think we found our home.

Okay, got all that? Now to my point. When we first starting visiting this church I was broken. I was beat down, exhausted and broken. The topics that were being preached about spoke right to me (they still do!), the songs we sang hit deep in my heart, and the uplifting environment was just what I needed. I have since come out of that broken stage and I am happy. I see the work that God did. I see that He knew we were supposed to buy the house we did, meet our neighbors, go to their church, hear the teachings that were being taught, and get involved. I am in awe of the obvious presence He has shown in my life.

I don’t know if I have ever stopped and taken a look at my life and really seen God at work until this moment. Have you ever done that? To me it was right there. I didn’t have to go digging or searching. It was right there in front of my face. I just had to see it. And I did and I am happy and grateful.

I challenge you to stop today and think over the last few months or days or years and looks to see the amazing things God has done in your life that you didn't realize He was doing. It is a wonderful thing to see the work He does!

Have a great weekend!

I QUIT

Ever have one of those days where you just want to quit being a mom. You just want to say, I’m done. Well, today was one of those days for me. Nothing particular bad happened. No one got hurt. I was just tired of being mommy.

During nap time I would have liked to get a few things done and maybe even shut my eyes for a just a second (I haven’t been feeling great). However, that was not the plan my kids had. They fell asleep on the way home from preschool and we all know what happens when kids fall asleep in the car. So, we get home and do they stay asleep? Of course not. The 2 year scream/cries at the top of her lungs “I NOT TIRED MOMMY!!!!!!!!!” and the 1 year old just screams. And so begins my attitude of wanting to quit being a mommy.

As I lay in my freshly made bed I try to get through this moment of screaming tantrums that is going on upstairs, I start to wonder if God ever wants to stop being God. I mean, there is some messed people that God has to deal with. I know that I wouldn’t have the patience to put up with half of the things that God does. I can’t even take 30 minutes of tantrums before I want to pull my hair out. Yet our God, our amazing, patience God puts up with us all the time. He puts up with my tantrums (and yes, I throw tantrums...just not the type a 2 year old does.), my sins, my flaws, my everything. He never gives up on me. Never loses patience. What an wonderful feeling.

After a few minutes of thinking that these children of mine will drive me insane and then redirecting my thoughts to knowing that our God NEVER stops being our God, I was ready to face the rest of the afternoon.

So, I got them out of their room, took them to child care at the gym and let someone else deal with them. I mean, what else would you expect me to do. :)

“being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has QUALIFIED YOU TO SHARE IN THE INHERITANCE OF HIS HOLY PEOPLE in the kingdom of light.” Colossians 1:11-12

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Taking The Plunge

There is so much to share that I am sure I will forget half of it, but that is okay....here is what I remember of it today...ha!

This blog has been on my mind for a while now. I haven't felt that it was what I wanted to do, but the fact that it keeps coming back up over and over and over again tells me that maybe it is what I am supposed to do. It is one of those things where I feel that God is up in Heaven shaking His head and thinking "she finally listened to what I have been trying to tell her."

What is the purpose of this blog?

When I think of this, I think that I want it to be an encouragement to all the mommies out there. Mother's of little children are essentially all in the same boat and all have the basically the same objective and that is to raise our children the best way we know how. That is much easier said than done isn't it? I hope and pray that we can share with each other and be an inspiration to one another.

What lead me to wanting to make a blog?

Over the past several months I have been trying my hardest to be still and listen to what God is calling me to do. What HIS purpose is for me in my life. I have been looking for a Bible study that pertains to me and to what I am going through right now raising a 1 & 2 year old. That was hard for me to find. I still haven't found it to be honest. But during all this I continued to have a desire to want to right down all the these that were going on in my life. I wanted/needed to look up scripture that pertained to those situations. And most importantly I have felt a very strong desire to share what I have learned, what I am still learning, and my life experiences.

What should I expect when I read this blog?

Here is what I am shooting for: Monday - Friday I will try to post each morning a short something. What that is depends on the day. Like I said I am a mother of a 1 & 2 year old, so who knows how much time I'll get to sit down and type something up. I hope that each of you will share with me and with the other readers experiences you are going through, how you have seen God's love and design in your life, answered prayers, funny stories about your kids. I would love for this to be as interactive as possible.

Speaking of interactions. There is a PRAYER REQUEST tab at the top. Each Monday I plan on clearing out any comments (prayer requests or praises!) that were made from the previous week, so we can start fresh. Anything that you would like me or anyone that reads this blog to pray for please share and we will.

DISCLOSURE

I would like for ya'll to know a few things about me and about my struggle of starting this blog before we get started. Every day before I go to bed I look back on the day and wished that I could have been a better mom, person, wife and child of God. I struggle with day to day things (like potty training....aaahhh!). I struggle with self esteem. I struggle with control. I want to be perfect and do everything perfect. I am flawed. I am a sinner. I have a forgiving, loving, wonderful God who I am trying my hardest to walk with daily. I have a wonderful husband and children who I adore and love so much that words cannot describe, but boy do they drive me crazy sometimes. I am just a mommy trying to do my best!

This blog has been prayed for and I hope so much that is blesses and encourages you.

Now, let's get this party started!!!!!