Planning vs Manipulation

So, the newest chapter in Plan A Mom in a Plan B World talks about doing things my own way or God's way. I was very interested in what this chapter had to say because frankly I have been doing things my way for a while now and I think God's way is a little bit better plan for me.

This biggest thing that I took away from this chapter was to go to God with the concerns you have about your child. That may seem like a pretty standard thing for you, but for me it seems really really silly to talk to God about helping potty train your child. But I did that. In my own prayers to God and in my daughters night time prayers we asked God to help her ALWAYS go teetee on the potty.

Have a seen this miraculous change in my daughter since we both gave over potty training to Him? No, not really. But I am trying to faithfully give over my struggles as a parent (and this is a huge one) to God. I told Him in a prayer the other night, "I can't do this anymore. I have tried everything. I give Jayme and the control over her bladder to you. Please show me how to do this your way." I can't believe I actually just told you that I gave control over Jayme's bladder to God. Ha!

The one other big thing that I am learning from this study (well I already new it, but have become more aware of it) is the HUGE influence we are on our kids. If I treat something or someone a certain way multiple times, my kids will see that and will copy my actions. It is something I have to remember all the time when I would rather throw a hissy fit than be the bigger person. Or when I want to talk bad about something instead of good. We are shaping who are children will be right now with our actions. I was to be the best teacher I can be.

Psalm 37:5-6

I was reading Plan A Mom in a Plan B World this morning and this verse was mentioned and I really liked it and thought I would share it with you this morning!

Commit your way to the Lord; TRUST in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Psalm 37:5

Happy Monday!

Unwavering Faith

Since we have starting attending Keystone Church we have met some pretty awesome people. I don't know if you remember when I talked about mooching off other peoples faith (you can read about that here), but all these friends that we have met are definitely people you could mooch some faith off of!!!

One of these couples we have met, Jamie & Jared, just had a sweet baby boy, Callan. He has been in the NICU since minutes after he was born. During a sonogram when Jamie was pregnant they discovered that he had some heart problems. I won't get into all the detail because I don't quite understand it all, but Callan will have to have surgery to fix the problems he has. They have a CaringBridge page if you would like to read it and learn more (just click here).

I just got done reading their page from start to finish and I am just completely in awe at their trust in God, their prayful approach to handling this situation and the beautiful family their are. What an amazing testimony to faith they are having to not only everyone who knows them, but to those who don't know them but see them in the NICU with their son.

Please join me in praying for this sweet family. For the doctors as they help Callan continue on a healing path. For Callan to have strength to eat. And for Jamie and Jared.

Freedom

Freedom Reigns

Where the Spirit of the Lord is
There is Freedom
Where the Spirit of the Lord is
There is Freedom

Lift your eyes to Heaven
There is Freedom
Lift your eyes to Heaven
There is Freedom

Freedom Reigns in this place
Showers of Mercy and Grace
Falling on every face
There is Freedom

If you're tired and thirsty
There is Freedom
If you're tired and thirsty
There is Freedom

Give your all to Jesus
There is Freedom
Give your all to Jesus
There is Freedom

Freedom Reigns in this place
Showers of Mercy and Grace
Falling on every face
There is Freedom

Jesus Reigns in this place
Showers of Mercy and Grace
Falling on every face
There is Freedom

This song has been on my mind for days now and I am pretty sure that God is trying to tell me something. I tried to get a video of this song put on here, but it wasn't working. So, if you want to listen to it, check it out here.

Over the last few months I have really seen how giving over your worries, your struggles, essentially your everything over to God can been very freeing. Lately I have been trying to take back over that control and it is time for me to give it all to God again and be free of my worries and struggles. God has it under control!

So, if the SON sets you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

Give your all to Jesus....there is freedom.

Wow God Wednesday

I think I see a trend going on here. Or I am having deja vu! But yet again I am wowed by God's perfect timing.

So you know on Monday how I shared my struggles with not having much freedom. Well Tuesday when I was reading my Bible study it talked about changing your attitude from "I have to..." to "I get to..." So instead of me saying "I have to stop what I am doing and do so and so with the kids.", I need to say "I get to do so and so with my kids." Truthfully that chapter in the book was a bit of a slap in the face. Kind of God saying "Bobbi, get over yourself."

Then last night at our church we had a "Girls Night Out." Our pastors wife talked about where our dead places are. And once again, God slapped me across the face with the message. My kids and my family and the joys I get from them should not be a dead place in my life, but a "life" place in my life!

It is incredible how well God knows your heart and knows what you need to hear!

How has God wowed you this past week?

Guilt

Chapter 2 in Plan A Mom in a Plan B World is calling "Languishing in Guilt or Rejoicing in Grace." My favorite part of this chapter was where it talked about false guilt. False guilt is basically talking about guilt that you should not own. This book says it is guilt about not living up to our own or someone else expectations.

It is kind of like this: I had a friend send me a text message when she was really struggling with all that life was throwing at her. And I mean life was throwing a LOT of things at her. Her 3 yer old daughter had just had surgery, her almost 2 year old daughter got a stomach bug, her husband deployed, her 3 year old daughter got the stomach bug from sister (while trying to recover from surgery), and to top that off the 3 year old got the rota virus and was hospitalized again. Oh yeah, and she works full time for the Navy. How about all that in a 2 week time frame. Anyways, the text message said that her parents were coming to get the kids from her so she could rest and concentrate on work. I told her I thought that was a great idea. Her next sentence made me so sad. It said, "Why do I feel so guilty?"

My reply back to my friend was this: You feel so guilty because people in today's society have mad it seem that if you can do it ALL and do it happily then you are a failure. But the truth is, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. I told her that she has done more in the last few weeks by herself than I could do with the help of my husband and my mom.

What she had was false guilt. I have some false guilt that I am working through right now. And can I just tell you that satan LOVES false guilt. I hear him working in me, stirring that guilt, trying to make me believe it. It is hard thing to get rid of.

1John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Let go of your false guilt, give your real guilt to God through confession and live life the way God wants you to live.

Struggles

Sorry for the lapse in post last week. Life got super busy and I got super tired which meant I "slept in" and if I do that then there is no time for blog writing!

Today I don't have a scripture for you. I hope you have one fore me. I don't have a lesson learned story. Maybe you have one for me. All I have is what I am struggling with as a mom.

Between Alan's work, my "work", my dad having surgery and just life, I have wanted to step away from being a mom and just be Bobbi. Go sit with my mom at the hospital as her daughter, not as Jayme and Ashlee's mommy. I have wanted to get my pile of sewing done to get caught up on orders. I have wanted to have photo shoots any time of the week not just on weekends. I have wanted to just get up and go to an event at church without having to worry about a babysitter.

All these instances have been struggles for me lately because I feel trapped. Completely trapped. There is not much that I can do without checking with someone. Check with Alan to see if he will be home to watch the kids. "Check" with the kids to see if it is a good time to leave them. Check with the babysitter. Find a babysitter. Pay a babysitter.

I am not sure why it took me 3 years to realize that my complete freedom is gone. Maybe I have just been okay with it up until this point because I haven't had much else going on, but now that I am trying to do stuff outside of being mommy and wife that the "trapped" feeling is coming to the surface. I admit that I get jealous when my husband says he is going to go run all these errands before coming home from work. It isn't an issue for him to just go run a few errands. He doesn't have to ask me if I can watch the kids so he can go do that, but if I want to run errands alone I have to make sure he is home from work, etc. I don't hold that against him. He doesn't get to play around all day with the kids. He works hard for us, but he isn't trapped in the building he works in 24/7.

I wish I could get over it. I wish I knew how. If you have had these feelings I would love for you to share with me how you got over it. One step I have made is just sucking it up and paying for babysitters. I know that is silly, call me cheap, I just hate paying for sitters.

If you have read this far, thank you for sticking with my "whining." Tomorrow I'll be back to encouraging you!

Wow God Wednesday

God, you have been doing some pretty rockin' things lately. Thank you!

I am still so amazed at how God has changed my heart. Sometimes I see the old me come out and I realize that was a very unhappy me. I am wowed by what He has done in me and what He can do in me if I just let Him.

There have been a bunch of babies born lately and it has reminded me what a blessing my kids are. I have the privilege of photographing newborns and I just love the peacefulness that is with them when they sleep. And the comfort they have when they are being held by momma. Each time I come home from a newborn photoshoot I try to cuddle with my kids a little more than they want me to...haha!

Has God wowed you in the last week? Please share!

Thought Bubbles

This post might get a little random, but just a few thoughts that I want to share with you!

I think wilderness is coming upon me. I am trying to be aware of it. Trying to pray that I handle it the correct way and also thanking God for things that He has already provided me to walk this (hopefully short) wilderness. I hope from what I have learned and the changes that I have made in my heart that I can handle this wilderness completely different than others.

I read the first chapter of Plan A Mom in a Plan B World. God's timing is impeccable. I am still in awe of that. I have known this book has been out there for a while and have wanted to buy it and read it, but God knew when it needed to be in my life! I can't wait to share some of it with you.

Okay, how about I share a little bit of it with you right now? I think I'll explain the Plan A, Plan B thing and then tell you a story about how that fits right into my life. The author describes a Plan A mom as a mom who wants to please God. A mom who wants to raise her children to know Christ as our Savior. A mom who prays. A mom who wants their kids to be healthy, kind to others and socially and spiritually well adjusted and raise her children to make good choices. A Plan B world contradicts that. When sin entered the human equations, things kind of went bad. She describes a Plan B world as a world that is filled with sickness, physical disabilities and threats to our children.

Sounds pretty accurate huh? So, here is my story.

When I was pregnant with Jayme I read Babywise. I had that book essentially memorized. I thought I was set on that aspect of being a mom because I knew what the book said to do and in my VERY naive mind I thought that if I did exactly as the book said, then Jayme would follow and do exactly has the book said (yes, I really thought this...stop laughing!). I also thought that my 1 week old child could hold a toy. Yes, I was a bit of a 'green' mom at first. Anyways, as I am sure you have figured out Jayme did NOT do what the book said she would do if I did what the book said to do. She actually did the opposite. I was devastated. I thought I was the worse mother. I had no idea where I went wrong. Today I laugh at this story because when I was in the moment I was really distraught.

Things come into our lives that mess our plans up. Every day that probably happens. The way we adapt and how we handle the changes can be a shining example to our kids!

Smiles

So yesterday I was listening to the sermon at church and like most Sunday mornings I saw a light bulb come one. We are in this series called "Love Revolution." It is basically teaching us as a church how to love others without being loved back. To selflessly love. It is like that list I posted a few weeks ago. 100 Creative Way To Love Others.

The sermon wasn't about my "light bulb." It was just a random light bulb. So, when I am out and about with my kids. Whether is be at the grocery store, the gym, on an airplane (not sure when that one will happen again after last weeks travels!), in my front yard, in my house, or at the mall, I am 100% focused on doing what I need to do without the kids breaking something, tearing something up, screaming at the top of their lungs or me losing it. I am sure most of you understand that.

As our pastor was teaching yesterday I realized that my focused face isn't a very nice face. So, I probably look ticked off, like I hate to be a mom, like I hate my life, etc. I don't want people to see me in that light. As most of you know from reading this blog I am pretty 'real' and don't sugar coat a lot of things, but always being ticked off, hating to be a mom and hating my life are NOT ME.

So, my 'light bulb' moment came when I realized that I can show other people love by blessing them even while I have 2 kids that I am trying to tote around. I can hold a door open for someone. I can smile and say hi. I can give someone an extra hand if they need it. My kids are better behaved than I give them credit for. I have the time and energy to do this. It may be what that other person needs to make their day.

In other news - I was doing a photo shoot on Saturday with a friend from high school. Her mom was up helping and we were talking about our womens ministry at church. She gave me her two books that she had written. I took them to someone at our church yesterday and although we already have our fall study lined up it these books could be a possibility for the spring. I am going to read one of the books, while Susan reads the other one, so I am sure I'll have lots to talk about here on the blog. The one I am reading is called Plan A Mom in a Plan B World. We plan to switch when we are done, so then I'll be reading Plan A Woman in a Plan B World. Very excited to share with you as I read!

Mommas

Mother's day is this weekend and so I thought it would only be appropriate to talk about mommas. I mean I talk about them every day, but I guess I really specifically talk about some of the commands the Bible give us at mothers.

Before I dive on in to some notes that I have written down I have to say a little something about mommas. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect motherhood to be so challenging and rewarding at the same time. I have learned over the last 3 years that moms are a special kind of 'breed." Yeah, I just said that. Cause we are. We are pretty awesome!

I know I have said this before, but I think it bears repeating. There is no right way to be a mother. There may be right and wrong decisions as a mother, but that doesn't mean that you mother the wrong way. Learning from wrong decisions and remembering the good decisions can help you be a better mother. The Bible talks a lot about mothers and I wanted to share some of them with you.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no on will malign the word of God. Titus 2:3-5

Paul wrote this letter to Titus to encourage him and to also give him guidance in instructing new believers. The first 2 things that Paul instructs is to teach the younger woman to love their husbands and love their children. Then later he says to be busy at home. I pray that Paul wasn't talking about housework. I like to interpret that as busy with the kids. Giving them the attention that they need!

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Teach your kids about the commandments of God. Be available to them when they are ready to learn. When I read this I read about a mother who is involved with their kids and not just a 'baby sitter.' God designed relationships to be interactive and that include the relationship you have with your children.

Fathers (mothers), do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

Okay, so we can get all technical and say that the Bible says fathers, however I think it should say 'parents.' I really didn't know what exasperated meant, so I googled it and basically it means to irritate or make anger. That made me giggle. After knowing the meaning of that word I would like to rewrite the first part of this verse to say, "CHILDREN, do not exasperate your parents." Haha! A few things come to mind when reading this verse. "Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" - That takes being involved in your kids life, sitting down and teaching them about God, about the Bible, about Jesus...etc.,

Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when he said to me, "Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children." Deuteronomy 4:10

Teach, teach, teach your children. Sunday school, public school, private school, pre school, ANY school. They are all good things, but I truly believe that the responsibility of really TEACHING our children is ours (moms and dads). When it comes to academic studies I most definitely need the help of teachers who have studied the subjects they are teaching. I know I'll need to read Jayme's kindergarten textbook and by 2nd grade I probably won't be able to help her with her homework. I don't mind someone else getting the credit for teaching my kids chemistry. However, I DO mind someone else getting the credit for teaching my kids about the Bible, about Jesus, about God, and so on. I want to be the one to teach them about Him. I (with help of course!) WILL be the one to teach my kids about our Heavenly Father.

And have you forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endue hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplines (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreoever, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respect them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplines us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:5-11

I am not going to get into discipling your children, how you should do it, etc. That is not my place. I am going to just say that it is an encouragement to me that God instructs us to discipline our children. I love the last sentence because I have seen this with my own eyes. "Later on, however it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." For those of you mothers that have been through the terrible 18 months - 2 years, know what I am talking about. With Jayme I felt like I was discipling her all the time. Telling her no don't do that. Putting her in time out for tantrums. It was exhausting, but I wanted to teach her that those actions were unacceptable even at that age. And now ("later on") I have a very well behaved (most of the time) 3 year old. I am trying the same thing with my 19 month old and I have to say the exhaustion is a little more with her, but these verses have given me the boost I need to continue in teaching her.

There are so many more verses that I want to share with you about being a mother, but my kids are waking up and so I must go be a mother...haha!

I hope you all have a very blessed mother's day and that you get spoiled rotten because you deserve it!!!

Pleasing Everyone

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone. -Bill Cosby

I love that quote because for the majority of my life I have been trying to please everyone and I have FINALLY come to the realization that I can't. No matter how hard I try and how good my intentions are, I cannot please everyone.

Would I like to? Yes of course. Can I? No.

I will obviously try to continue to please people with an understanding it may not be received the way I want it to be, however there is only one person that I want to fully please and that is God.

Ephesians 1:4 says, "For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight."

I will strive to be holy and blameless in His sight.

God will never reject our efforts to please Him. He gave me a gift of eternal life, so I in return I try to please Him with my actions.

Wow God Wedensday

I think that I just need to dive right in to this post because I have a bunch to say!

1. Friends - A little back story. The vacation I was on was to see a friend that went to college with my husband. We met his senior year very briefly, but the year after they graduated we were station in the same place. So we hung out there a bunch, went to her and her husbands wedding the following year and have kept in touch ever since. She has 2 little girls that are my girls age. I haven't seen my sweet friend since her wedding in 2005, so this trip was long over due. Now all that being said, I am so WOWed by God putting friend in my life 7/8 years ago knowing what a blessing she would be in my life today. I knew that I enjoyed her friendship and keeping in touch via email/facebook/phone calls, but I didn't realize how much. God knows what he is doing and it is so cool!

2. Working moms - If you didn't know I am a stay at home mom. And yes, we are busy and yes, it is hard, but is it really that hard? I am not sure. I watch my friend this past week be 4 different people and I was amazed at how fantastic she is at all 4 of them. She was a mommy to her girls (and a good one I might add!). She was a Lt. in the Navy (rocking the PRT!). A friend to me (late nights talking and going to Carrie Underwood concerts!). And a wife to her soon deployed husband. Half off the time I can't take the stress of being a stay at home mom. I couldn't imagine having the responsibility of my kids and a full time job. Hats off to all you working moms!

3. Society - I flew to Maryland with a 3 yr old and an 19 month old. 'Nuff said right? Well, I'll tell you a little more. My 19 month old does not like to sit still, so during take off and landings I had to physically restrain her in my lap. My 19 month old does not like to be restrained. Therefore, there was an all out screaming at the top of her lungs tantrum at each take off and landing. I had 4 flights (2 there and 2 back). So if you do the math that is 8 tantrums. Luckily she was asleep the very last flight, so you can take that number down to 7. I tell you all that to tell you that God wowed me with how nice MOST people were to my situation. I did apologize to everyone around me and they seem genuinely nice about it (although I am sure I was talked about at their dinner table that night). The one person who sticks out in my mind was a woman in the Dallas airport. I had just gotten off the plane and was headed to get our luggage, but I wanted to put Ashlee in the Ergo carrier on my back. I can put her there all by myself, however it isn't the prettiest thing in the world while I am doing it. This nice woman put down her laptop, came over and asked if she could help me. I could have cried at the thoughtfulness of that woman. It made a world of difference to have her help and let me be on my way. If she is a member of Keystone Church, she was definitely apart of the Love Revolution.

4. Moms of multiple children - God gave you some kind of special something. This past week there were 4 girls. 4 very well behaved girls I might add too. However, putting 4 kids in and out of a car or taking them somewhere was an adventure that I would never have the patience to do day in and day out. So, if you are a mother of more than 2 kids, GOD BLESS YOU! I am impressed by you.

Those 4 things are just the ones that are coming to mind right now. Even thought my vacation was exhausting for me (BUT FUN!!!!!) God showed Himself in so many ways!

I would love to hear how God wowed you over the last 2 weeks!

ps - I got to see Carrie Underwood in concert and she sang part of "How Great Thou Art." If you haven't see the youtube video of it click here and go check it out. AMAZING!

I'm Back!

No real post today. Just saying I am back and will start fresh tomorrow with Wow God Wednesday. I have to say that I was very wowed over the last 2 weeks, so I have lots to share.

Also, if any of you have ANY thoughts that you would like me to write about (I'll keep you anonymous) please share. I would love any new ideas and would also love to hear about the life experiences you are living right now!

Have a great day!